Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
30 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
What would life be like if it were static? If each and every day was the same. The exact same as the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.
On the plus side, you’d know what to expect. There’d be no uncertainty. You’d always be prepared. You would just have to hope to God that whatever day set the precedence for all the others was a really freakin’ good day.
On the other hand…how boring would that be? You’d always know what to expect. There’d be no surprises. You wouldn’t learn to think on your feet and have adventures because you’d always be prepared for whatever. People wouldn’t learn, they wouldn’t grow, they wouldn’t become better. Friendships would not be forged, love would not be found, nothing new would be discovered. It would be the same thing. Every. Single. Day.
Humans are dynamic beings and need change in order to thrive. Our minds crave the challenges that changes bring as we try to maneuver them. If our world was static…we’d be drones. Robots. Unemotional, unintelligent beings. Change is what causes us to learn. Think about it: You go to school, each year seeming as though it’s going to be the same old thing but instead you learn new things. Every few years, the setting changes as you advanced to the next section of your schooling. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college…each one is a major change in a person’s life. It’s to be expected, but at the same time we have no idea what to expect.
Not everyone handles change easily, and I feel bad for these people. I think change should be embraced, even sought. Sure, you might experience a change that doesn’t work….but then you just make another change until you find something that does. And if it’s external and you can’t directly affect it, then you change your settings. Or your thinking.
Change is scary. It creates uncertainty (which is my biggest fear). It can, at times, challenge your view of your competency. But if you shy away from it, avoid it at all costs, you cannot grow into the person you are meant to be. I believe that whatever greater being may be out there presents changes simply for the chance for us to better ourselves, both individually and as a collective whole.
What changed your life today?
Think about it.
B
In Loving Memory: Scamp
13 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: dogs, grief, pet loss, pets
RIP-8/10/2011
One day in early October, just two weeks after the loss of my childhood dog, another little four-legged friend entered my life. I was not prepared to meet him yet, but he ingrained himself so deep in my heart that I cannot imagine a life without him. He scampered down the stairs and sniffed around, not caring in the least that he had no clue where he was. He marched right up to me, in typical Yorkie fashion, and licked my hand as I demanded of my mom, “What…is that?” He walked and walked around me, stubby tail wagging furiously. He let me pet him as much as I desired.
Then he peed on the floor.
Scamp-the funny little guy that won the hearts of everyone who met him. He had lived at the vet’s office where we took my other dog, Little Foot. She passed away, and my mom wasn’t certain she wanted to get us another dog since I’d soon be leaving for college. But destiny and fate had other things in mind, and when my mom went to pay the final bill at the vet’s, he brought out Scamp. A Yorkie mix. I’d always wanted a yorkie…fell in love with them when I had met a friend of mine’s two yorkies. Mom fell in love with him at first sight and brought him home.
The rest is history.
That little stinker would test his boundaries without being outright disastrous and more times than not his antics were amusing. When he wanted something, he would jump up on his hind legs and hold his little front paws right up next to his face with his ears perked up and his eyes never leaving your face. He loved to play and go on walks and lay next to you. He always had to have you in his sight and each time you moved to a different room he would leave his spot and trail after you, tail wagging and always hoping for a treat. Which he usually got.
He gave us so many good years. I moved out of the house for college but every time I came home he’d be there, waiting for me. I liked knowing that he was there to watch over my mom and take care of her, just as she cared for him. Years later I moved to Minneapolis and he would come visit, now in his older years. You could see the years in him, but he would always perk up for a treat.
He loved Zoe, my little puppy, with an older dog’s tolerance, and would even concede to play with her after she barked and pounced at him for 20 minutes. If he was alone with her and she with him, they hated to be separated. Oh, that funny little boy of mine.
The years went by and he aged with grace. Minor arthritis problems that didn’t interfere with his life and was easily treated. Everything was going well.
Until suddenly…he was gone. This funny little member of my family that fate dropped into my lap. This little guy that just walked right into my home and my heart. This sweet little boy of mine who was always eager to see anyone and everyone. No warning signs, no signs of being ill. Just old. But he was only old in years….his heart always stayed young.
Scamp, my baby boy, you will be so missed, so very much. You were such a special part of my mom’s and my life and we will never, ever, ever forget you. Thank you for your unconditional love and playful nature, for cheering us up when we were down, for reminding us to stay young ourselves. You will always be in our hearts.
I miss you baby boy. So much.
Until we meet again, Scamp.
B
Silly Old Bear
26 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
Winnie-the-Pooh
I took myself back to the 100 Acre Woods today to visit an old group of friends. A dopey-eyed donkey, a wise owl, a nervous piglet, a cuddly kangaroo and her son, the only Tigger there is, a good-hearted but irritable rabbit, but most of all-a “tubby little chubby all stuffed with fluff.” As they searched for Eyeore’s tail and avoided the Bakson, I relaxed in their funny, odd good humor. In the 100 acre woods, there’s no worry about economies, or debt ceilings, or the latest celebrity overdose, or wars, or diets, or jobs, or anything scarier than a red-haired blue-furred monster that likes to rearrange things to mix you up.
Winnie-the-Pooh had a very important thing to do today which was he put his friend’s need before his growling and rumbling tummy that was in desperate need for some honey. I tried to watch it from they eyes of a little kid-like when I very first met the yellow-colored bear as a young girl. I laughed at the silly little jokes and took delight in when Pooh would talk directly to the narrator. I giggled when I remembered that the words had a habit of falling out of their place and being a direct part of the story. I smiled with love when Tigger first sang his own theme song…
A wonderful thing is a Tigger;
A Tigger’s a wonderful thing.
Their tops are made out of rubber,
their bottoms are made out of spring
They’re bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy,
fun, fun, fun, fun, fun,
The most wonderful thing
about Tiggers is:
I’m the only one!
as he tried to turn Eyeore into Tigger 2. And Eyeore…I have an Eyeore somewhere. I have a special fondness for Eyeore…I always want to give him a hug.
Going to this movie today made me realize just how much I miss being a child. A time when you didn’t have to worry about anything more than which toy you were going to play with. There were no responsibilities…no bills to pay, food to buy, issues to vote on, money to be earned. Just the simple joy of happiness, and knowing everything was taken care of for you.
I can’t wait until my next little visit.
Until then,
B
Ultimate Blame Game
02 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: government shutdown, Minnesota, Politics
Congratulations, Minnesota, you are the only state this year to go into a shutdown. Thousands of helpless people are sitting here idly while those that were elected to lead our state into better times have, instead, caused it to fall apart. And all because fingers are being pointed, compromises are not even being considered let alone reached, and each party refuses to talk to the other. Hello kindergarden….
With elections just a year away, I think many of us are just thinking to ourselves, “one more year. We just have to survive one more year ,then we can change who is in charge.” But, as the past days, weeks, months have shown…I don’t think we have time to wait. The government shutdown happened because each side thought the other would give in order to avoid the shutdown, and so instead of meeting and talking Gov. Dayton and the Republican-led Minnesota legislature played a sort of Russian Roulette game with the lives of those who are dependent upon them…trusted them…believed them when they said they would lead Minnesota to a better future. Right…
Personally, I am sick of waiting for our leaders to get their game together, both at the state and national levels. Our country is so incredibly divided right now that we don’t even deserve to have the term “united” in our name. At this point, it is not one party’s fault or one party’s victory. When the country as a whole fails, both parties have failed miserably. Yet here we are, watching daily news reports of issues that aren’t being discussed, hearing contradicting reports on when troops are going to be brought home, boasts of supposed accomplishments and loads upon loads of blame being placed upon the shoulders of everyone out there.
Politicians need to stop thinking like politicians and start acting like plain old citizens….the people that our founding fathers based their principles on and for. The status quo is not working and it hasn’t for quite some time. And I don’t think anything will change until we, the citizens of the “United” States of America, take a bigger stand in issues that affect our daily lives. Until we have our say in issues that are being decided for us, simply because those that were elected by us to lead have decided that means they have complete, 100% control over our lives, nothing will change. Don’t twist my words-we need a government in place and the United States did not get to be the powerhouse it is (was?) without the established democracy that we are. But I think we as citizens have lost our say and need to stand up again and demand that our leaders listen to our issues…the issues that they based their platform on and then have ignored once elected. We elected them. We pay their salary. They work for us.
Until then,
B
A Picture Can be Worth a Thousand Words
13 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in Bucket LIst Tags: photography, summer bucket list
Lego Camera!!!
I feel like I’ve gone back to school. I studied tonight. But there was a difference…I was uncharacteristically excited to do it! I picked up my photography book today, and after running errands and walking Zoe after work, I decided it was time for me to start the first project on my summer bucket list: Teach myself photography and complete a project.
Now, I’m fully prepared that my “final” won’t be all that glamorous, because it’s going to be difficult to teach myself all the fine aspects of the art. But hopefully this will kick-off a long-term process where I continuously improve my skill and do more projects. I haven’t chosen one-perhaps it will feature Zoe, who I’m sure I’m going to drive crazy as I force her to be my test subject. I’m a little apprehensive about how she’ll do-she hates my tiny little point-and-shoot camera…I don’t know what she’ll do with my mom’s bigger, more sophisticated camera (pretty sure it’s a point and shoot as well, but way cooler than mine. All of a sudden I realized there’s more descriptions to cameras other than “Cannon” or “Nikon.”)
The first book that I’ve chosen to help me on my journey is Complete Digital Photography by Ben Long. I’m only a few chapters in, but I think that it’s a good choice for a total beginner like me. I took a photography class in high school, and about the only things I remember are Bird’s Eye and Worm’s Eye view, and what the shutter speed is. This book starts at the total beginning-general directions on operating a camera and how your eye perceives scenes compared to how a camera does….that kind of thing. He does a good job of throwing in pieces of advice for actual picture taking so that it doesn’t seem so technical and tedious right away either, which has a tendency to bore me.
I’m really excited to get my mom’s camera-I played around with mine a little but I think I have one of the “inexpensive point-and-shoot” cameras that he doesn’t go into much detail about because there isn’t much detail to be given. It serves my purposes for being with friends and silly little things, but I’m glad my mom is willing to let me use her cool Cannon camera. I think once I get hers I’ll be a little bit more into the technical aspects of my tool. Hopefully I’ll get through the book at a decent pace, but this summer might get a little hectic. I promise myself though that I will complete this summer bucket list if it’s the last thing I do! Ok, not really, because then it would just be a regular bucket list and I’m not ready for that.
Speaking of bucket lists, I read an article about a 15 year old girl in the UK who has terminal cancer. She wrote a real bucket list and is blogging about it on her site, Alice’s Bucket List. She sounds like a courageous young lady, and just thought I’d share this with you as a reminder to do the things you want to do before you can’t. You don’t know when you won’t be able to anymore.
With that, hopefully I’ll have some photos to share soon….we shall see!
Until then,
B
Summer Bucket List
07 Jun 2011 2 Comments
in Bucket LIst
Driving to work this morning, dreading the unbearable heat I knew was coming, I was idly listening to the radio and thinking about all the things that are on my mind. As I randomly tuned in to the DJs of the Dave Ryan in the Morning Show, I heard them talking about a summer bucket list. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, watch the movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman called (surprisingly) The Bucket List. The two dying men create a bucket list…or a list of things to do before you kick the bucket.
The morning show’s version isn’t quite so dramatic and their lists contain things they want to do before the end of this sumer, not the end of their lives. It inspired me to do the same thing. I think that it will help me to kick this funk that I’ve been feeling in not being challenged (this is a whole other post, which may or may not be published). Having these three projects to do before the deadline, which will be the last day of summer (Sept. 22, 2011), will help me improve myself and learn more about who I am.
So, without further ado, my summer bucket list is
- Teach myself photography and complete a project
- Lose 15-20 lbs
- Make one new recipe every week to teach myself how to cook.
So there we have it. The official start date will be the first day of summer, June 22. I’m going to get a head start on the photography project before hand, but all three must be in gear by then. Look for updates and make me be accountable!!!!!
Until then,
B
Ignorance Really is Bliss
23 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: fatal flaws, pride, secrets
Do you ever accidently discover something that you could have just done without knowing? Nothing major or life changing, mind you…just more of an annoyance that you’d prefer to do without. I just did…two things in the space of a few days. One is slightly a bigger deal than the other, only because of the significance I place on it, but really I could do without either. And yet….through this I’ve discovered exactly how much I’ve grown up the past few years.
The first annoyance we won’t talk about because it’s just something I have to get out of my head, but the second…the second thing I was able to force myself to completely ignore. I didn’t text 10 people and tell them “GUESS WHAT!?!?”. I didn’t post some vague status on my Facebook (though I suppose this post could serve that purpose but the event itself is not the subject of this), and I didn’t sit at home and obsess over it. Instead, I forced myself to send an email that I’ve been waiting all day to send. Why is this a big deal, you ask? Let me tell you. I have this nasty little habit to obsess over things that get under my skin until I am able to reconcile with it. During that period, I rarely focus on anything else except basic survival instincts (excluding sleep, that’s the first to go). Had I succumbed to my usual habits, I wouldn’t have sent the email and instead been ticked over the piece of info I’d literally just discovered.
Of course, you would think that this should already be a trait of a grown-up, but we all have our flaws. My tendency to nail things into the ground 5,000 miles is mine. Probably my fatal flaw, as it were. But I overcame it tonight, and that, along with everything else I’m excited about, makes me feel very proud of myself.
And as for the other things that I’m excited about….
Shhh....it's a secret
Until then,
B
Spring Fever
15 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Life
Just as I started writing this, an old song came on that took me back in time so fast. When this song was released I was dating this guy, and this song became his ringtone on my phone. How silly was I? Not so much that I paired that song with him and us, but that I was actually one of those people that did that. Pah. Now you get your own text tone if you’re that important to me, but my ring tone is the same for everyone. The song? “No Air” by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown (before he became a loser-jerk). So I’m sitting here listening to this song and smiling at the memory of that guy and I…of everything we shared and the times we laughed and cried together. I’m probably the only one who knows exactly who I’m talking about, and that’s the way it’s going to stay. But if you figure it out…not a word.
Now, back to the main point of this entry….
I’m sitting here, looking out the window and for once it’s actually a decent spring day (probably our 3rd or 4th one yet). For me, spring is a beautiful and tortuous time for me….it leave me feeling excited and restless for new things (the beautiful part) but it also means that I am often sick with allergies (the tortuous part). But looking out at this spring day, I’m ready to tackle a project. I’m not really a DIY kind of gal, but I’ve been looking for a challenge lately and I think this may just be it. Some things I will always make someone else do, such as put together difficult pieces of furniture (futons, cabinets, tables…those things) or catch mice. But my first idea…I think I can do. It’ll be fun, add style, and help me stay organized all at once. It’s using picture frames to hang jewelry…I saw it on TV yesterday. I’m sure it will be amusing, and hopefully I don’t have to do something 3 times like it did with the futon, but it will be challenging nonetheless since I’ve never had an interest in doing anything like this before. I’ll be sure to document my progress on here so you can all laugh 
Today my project is going to be Sushi. Yep, homemade sushi with my friends Ashlee, Marit, and Ashley. We even got some sake to make our evening complete. There will definitely be pictures to follow.
This post was rather random, wasn’t it? I suppose I just felt like writing. More soon!
Until then,
B
Fred
22 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: Death, friends, grieving, Life
I didn’t know Fred long-only about 7 months. No one realized those would be the last 7 months of his life.
He passed away early Wednesday morning, at his job. Which was the most important thing to him at this time in his life, not because of the job itself, but the people who worked there.
The people who cared for him as one of their own.
The people he protected.
Those that miss him terribly now that he’s gone. Unexpectedly. With no chance to say good-bye. And now we’re all left here, thinking things that we’ll never get to say to him. Things we should have said to him every chance we got. Because you don’t know when your last chance, is the last chance.
I didn’t actually work with Fred often-only one of the two nights I covered the overnight shift. But I saw him often, either as I was coming to work or going home. Every morning, at 6:45 when I walked in, barely awake, Fred greeted me “Good morning Beth.” He’d tell me what he had planned that day, usually going to another site to provide security, then to bed. I don’t know how that man did it, but he loved it.
The night that I worked with him, as he prepared to go on his first set of rounds, he locked the front entrance, looked at me and said “Beth, don’t let anyone through these doors unless they show you a room key until I get back.” Looking back, I think it was because he cared more about my safety than his job merely required. And as I sat at the computer, waiting for morning to come so I could crawl into bed, he kept me company and made sure I was comfortable….turning the back office lights off when I mentioned I had a headache.
That was my friend. That was Fred-always helping out without being asked. When he saw something that needed to be done, he just did it. If you asked him to do you a favor, he didn’t grumble that it wasn’t part of his job. He just turned around and did it like he was always waiting to help you. And he was.
Fred is….was….the same age as my mom. Fred was only a year older than my dad when he passed away-not very old at all. We don’t know officially what caused it, but my guess is that it was the same thing that took my father…a heart attack. And it happens so suddenly, with no warning. One minute, he’s walking around the hotel, making sure all is as it should be…and then all of a sudden it’s not. It a strong reminder not to take people for granted, because it’s infinitely possible that they won’t be there the next day. The next hour. The next minute.
Fred, if we all had one more chance to tell you just how much we all care, that still wouldn’t be enough. I hope you’re up there somewhere, looking down and knowing that you were such a part of us. You were an institution at the hotels. I’m sorry that I didn’t take the time, didn’t take every chance I got, to tell you how very special you are. Thank you for protecting us and for all you did for us. You are missed so incredibly much.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Until we meet again, my friend,
B
